And The Next

Here I am,
Right now,
Right here right now,
And I'm panicing again, Is this really it?
Is this what it's come to?
Drifting aimlessly through the ether,
Picking up cigarette ends,
Seeing if I can get them to light up,
Get a hit,
Get some smoke down into my lungs.
Chasing dreams,
That turn to screams,
In the middle of the night,
My head,
My heart.
Hot sweats on cold nights,
Fear of the light,
Of fight or flight,
Of the night,
Of the day,
Of the way,
It's come to this,
Of the piss,
Of the hiss of stream,
That kills the dream,
That starts the scream,
I hear what you say,
As you start to sway,
It's the way,
It goes, I say,
this day,
And the next,
And the next,
And the next.