IS CHOCOLATE THE ANSWER?

Increasingly, I'm finding that I am desiring food, thinking about it all the time. I'm even going to bed thinking 'what shall I eat tomorrow?'. Cereal, bread, fish, bacon, anything with sugar in it, especially chocolate. Drink too, tea, tea and more tea, and then some strong coffee to wash it down with.

Am I having a growth spurt? Or am I craving because I'm pregnant and I don't know it? That would explain the belly that increases girth with the weeks and months. Or are these cravings replacing something I'm missing or not getting, a substitute for something?

I was told the other day that I looked like I was searching for something, and I know I've written about this before on these tiny pages, so it's nothing new to the few that read them, but this particular friend has never read any of my ramblings so perhaps she has a point. My initial response was 'aren't we all searching for something?', and it took a fair bit or persuasion for her to qualify her reasoning for saying so. This may have been because I was a little harsh in my persuasive questioning, as I was surprised that I might look like I'm searching, because, up until now I always thought I was internalising my 'searching', mainly to cover my thoughts as they are not always in line with social acceptability as to what I might consciously or subconsciously be 'searching' for. I thought I was doing a great job of hiding them!

I guess that I should question further what it is I actually look like when I'm 'searching', is it all the time or just part of the time? I did press the young lady concerned a little , in order to alleviate my paranoid concerns that I might be advertising my thoughts in neon signs where ever I go, and she said that I looked like I was 'looking for adventure'. This, equally was a suprise, and I feel there may need to be more questioning when the time is right, but I've always thought I was the un-adventurous type, the stay at home type, the 'travel in my head' type. So I find it a bit of a surprise that I might be giving off these twin impressions of 'searching' and 'adventure'. Perhaps I should be questioning myself a little more too.

Perhaps I should just buy another bar of chocolate.